Thursday, September 02, 2004

Gauntlets, Politics, and Walls


I think Star and I are hitting the same wall from two different sides, right now. My version of it is that there are many, many things I would like to be devoting substantial time and effort to. Not "feel I ought to," though there are of course plenty of those. But "would like to," really like to.

I'm inspired to write this because of having flipped through the autumn publication of the Council of Canadians, and it's reviving my nascent desire to really get involved in kicking the government's collective ass on behalf of progressive policies that they ought to hold - according to the public and to the actual facts - but don't. The case in point, for me, is health care. Why is there a debate? Inasmuch as we have any data at all, the data says that private health care (a) costs the government more money, not less, and (b) delivers inferior quality of care. The US government pays about three times as much money, per capita, for their crappy health care, as we do for ours. Hmm, tough call, guess we'll have to hold a national debate over that one, Grover.

And so on. I'd like to see a Canadian version of a study I heard cited recently. The study looked back at voting records, and found that among those advances in the civilized world which we now take for granted (things like voter equality and so forth), the US Republican party voted against these things pretty much every time. Their historical track record is abysmal. Mind you, both US parties are pretty awful by our standards. But so's Alberta's provincial government, really.

Which is the point.

I see things being mishandled like this, and I know I'm not alone in being disgusted by it. But I end up with no forum to act, or to discuss, apart from brief interpersonal discussions with zero external impact. I also notice, on trying to look up the Council's local chapter, that there isn't one. Red Deer, Calgary, lord only knows where else in Alberta, but no Edmonton chapter at all. And man, would I love to change that. Chair a local chapter, discuss politics (and generally make friends with) intelligent people other than gamers, actually collect facts and take action, and so forth. That's something I could do.

But I began this post by speaking of a wall.

That wall is family, responsibility, commitments, and guilt. It's the knowledge that every added activity I even think about is one more weight I'm considering putting on my love's shoulders. And that's unthinkable; as it is, I feel like a chain around her neck more often than a support by her side. So this glorious thing that could be... will not. At least not now; which means never.

Same thing goes for Heresy. Same thing goes for High Trader. And another dozen or so lesser dreams as well, into that pot. Star would love to support me in all of these; but we don't have the collective strength for her to be supporting anyone, in anything, right now.

Which means never.

I expect that Star will read this and want to change this situation, make it all better. And maybe that'll actually work, because her side of the same wall is lack of desire, lack of dreams that actually seem worth pursuing. Maybe this post will make us both realize that we're stifling ourselves unnecessarily, that in fact we share a dream or two and the strength to pursue it. That would be cool. But cool is no longer sufficient...

Hmm. It seems my post can't decide whether to end on a depressed or hopeful note. I'm going to go meta on the whole thing instead, and leave it there.

If we do take up the activism gauntlet... who's with us? Diverse opinions and political stances desirable; willingness to commit real time (say an hour a week of real work, plus one evening a month in discussion) a must.