Y'know, I don't talk about emotions much, here; mostly because I seldom talk about something unless I can synthesize some new conclusion out of the discussion, and my emotions are generally not well suited to it.

Tonight, I seem to be covering up a seething rage. I've been much nastier than necessary to all my girls, Star included; I'm sorry. I don't get angry all that often, although way more than I used to, and what scares me is how deeply it can grip me, how hard it is to shake off. Really, I seldom get angry; it tends to skip straight from irritability to rage. Not a good habit, no. But while the good bits of life are really good, the bad bits don't seem to be going away anytime soon... and they just get under my skin.

In a way, it's good. Gone are the days of Issaqua (a Shadowrun character built to manifest my -old?- totem, Snake) and Jude (a sociopathic angel who basically embodies all that is alienating about the transhumanist movement, expressing that through metaphoric/magical means - for example, he cut out his eyes so that he could see). Back, perhaps, to the days of Nikolai... which, really, was a much healthier species of rage.

Do I draw any conclusions from this? Nope. This is the exception to the rule. I just seem to want to write, today. Those of you who read this blog, poke - respond (not to this post, stupid) or the maddened fiend shall hunt you down and rip your intestines out with a Lego shark.

I think I'll go rewatch Natural Born Killers, now. Might as well try and burn out the mood so it stays away for awhile...